Chillin' in the PRC |
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| Hooliator grew up in Southern
California. Hooliator has lived in three American states
and France.
For most of his life Hooliator thought of Canada as a
little America. Boy did I get a shock when after leaving
France and arriving in Canada for a visit, I found out
just how unlike us our neighbor to the north really is. |
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| The one thing most, if not all, of
us Yankees know is that Canadian money is different.
One main difference is that the Canadian dollar coin
is easily distinguishable from the Canadian quarter
dollar. Said dollar is called a Loonie because the
Loon (a big bird) graces the front of the coin. Take
a guess at what they call their two dollar coin...
Gotta love those Canadians, they call it a toonie. |
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| I was in for a bit of reverse culture shock
when I got to Canada. After hearing and seeing everything
in French for a year, I expected to get some language
relief in an English speaking country. But French you
see is an official language of Canada and all products
in Canada are labled in both French and in English. So
when I went to the store to get yogurt, I found myself
ignoring the English and reading the French labels! I
had to actually TRY to read the English. |
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Who knew Dr. Pepper
had been around since 1885? In France what we call
Root Beer they
call "le Root Beer" but the Quebecois
came up with their own word for it... |
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Another big difference
is that in America, monopolies are illegal. In Canada
they are only illegal
when they are private monopolies. In America when we
want to buy beer, wine, or booze we go to the local market,
or to the liqour store, or to 7-11, or to the gas station
on the corner, or to Wal-Mart, or to Costco, or to any
other myriad places where we pay a price determined by
the market. Canadians go to the government owned
store, where they pay a price determined by the government,
and they buy a licence from the government so they
can serve booze to guests in their homes.
One thing that continues to shock Hooliator is how
those selfish Canadians don't show nearly enough appreciation
despite all we do for them. Even though we are the #1
buyer of Canadian beer, even though we provide jobs for
struggling Canadian actors, even though no nation in
the world would ever even consider launching an invasion
of Canada because we would turn the offending nation
into slag, even though we keep Shania Twain out of Canada
for part of every year, they continue in their steadfast
refusal to share with us the one truly great innovation
to come out of Canada. We give them first dibs on all
good things to come out of America and they still withhold
their Coffee Crisp candy bars from us. The bastards.
Why can't Hooliator buy Coffee Crisp in America??? I
demand Coffee Crisp. Write your congressma! Write
your senators!!!
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Give us Coffee Crisp or give us
Death! |
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Why don't we have Coffee Crisp in the
United States? |
Let us examine the facts: |
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1. Coffee Crisp is the best candy bar ever.
2. Coffee Crisp is a product of Nestle.
3. Nestle is owned by the French.
4. The French are evil. |
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Not that hard... |
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| Visit Toronto by clicking HERE!!! |
| Check out the amazing Falls
of Niagra
by clicking HERE!!! |
| Forget NorAm go to Rome
by clicking HERE!!! |
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